This reminds me of this guy who used to live on my dad’s street.
Every time it snowed, the snow plow would take out his mailbox - and only his mail box. And just to be clear - it was done intentionally. No one knows why, but the driver of the snow plow would target his box and mow it down. He’d call the DOT to complain, and would get an earful of excuses that amounted to “not our fault you have a wimpy mailbox.”
Fast forward to the next winter. First decent snow starts falling, and every kid is hoping for a snow day. It was right around 4:30 am that the whole neighborhood was woken up to this loud CLANG and the screech of tearing metal. My dad made it to the window first and started laughing his ass off.
Sitting out side was one very totaled, and almost ripped in half, snow plow. And these weren’t little pick-up trucks with a blade on the front, we have these up in NY:
Well, turns out over the summer, my dad’s neighbor got himself a backhoe and sank a steel I beam into the ground in his front yard. Then he covered it with a decorative wood sleeve and topped it with a brand new mailbox. When the snowplow driver tried to mow it down it was a bad case of immovable object meets unstoppable force - and the mailbox won. With the plow firmly impaled on the I beam, it was very clear that the driver had gone out of his way to hit it.
Naturally, the DOT wasn’t happy, and the neighbor’s reply was simple: “Not my faulty you have a wimpy snowplow.” They did try to sue him for the damages, but as he had gone to the town, gotten approval for the post and its installation, and made sure everything was up to code, it was thrown out pretty quick.
And for anyone wondering about the driver… He was fine. His job and tighty-whiteys … not so much.
Did You Know: There are usually four different spouse reactions types to houses you can live in; Arrogant, Neutral, Nord, or Orc? The reactions for a player-built house, for example:
Arrogant: “Fine, when we’re not fending off attacks by wolves. Or bears. Or giant spiders. Honestly, what were you thinking, sending us out here?”
Neutral: “Fine, love. I think the fresh air does wonders for all of us, and this house… it’s just perfect.”
Nord: “Fine, fine. Living out here on our own will take some getting used to, but I think it’ll be good for us.”
Orc: “Better than ever. Nothing like living off the land to teach you how to fight, how to survive. We’ll have a little warrior on our hands in no time.”
Once again, Orcs prove to be the superior option.
non-orcs: the house you built for me with your own hands is fine… I guess…
orcs: this place is awesome but it’s gonna be even better once we’ve fucked on every horizontal surface
